Avoid Five Common Self-sabotage Pitfalls to Make Your Quantum Leaps Sustainable
In January this year I earnt as much in one week as I had earnt over the previous six months – yeah! 🎉
It wasn’t a fluke…I’d been diligently focused on manifesting soul-aligned clients and earning more money for about a month. I’d been doing daily subconscious reprogramming and visualisation work. Plus, after finishing my book in December, come January I released the huge amount of my energy that was focused on my book, back towards my business.
The first thing I did when I hit this big financial goal was to celebrate – I went and bought a delicious meal for my mum and I, raising a glass to the start of a new year and a whole new level of prosperity.
I found myself in flow, excited about what life could look like without money being a restrictive factor. I was already planning city breaks in my head, buying new trainers and mentally exploring the next expansion with high-level coaches.
But the next few weeks, I noticed a shift around this flow…the money disappeared quickly and in the process I saw (more clearly than ever before) some very common sabotage patterns.
Five Common Self-Sabotage Patterns and How to Avoid Them
Patterns I want to shine a light on for you, so that you don’t need to fall prey the same pitfalls.
1. Staying in the flow (vs. contracting back to where you were)
Being in the flow means our ego is not in control. It takes a level of trust. We are surrendering into the unknown…and the ego likes nothing LESS than the uncertainty of the unknown - the 'out-of-control' place where we are flowing with the current of life.
It is our job to learn how to soothe and support our ego…and to keep moving forward anyway in alignment with each step our soul is nudging us to make.
After I had the most abundant week of business to date, my ego kicked in hard (and sneakily):
The energy that began as excitement, having more ‘fun money’ to play with, began to escalate with a more fear-based, controlling energy kicking in. My ego was trying to organise what felt like fun purchases into “immediate need to haves” – pulling me back from this less familiar space of unlimited abundant thinking back into a lack mentality.
Here are some ways you can avoid this…
Anchoring into observation mode. The ego often speaks the loudest and the fastest. Our soul and guides are quieter, undramatic, simple in their advice.
Tell yourself you are safe.
Write down what you feel is “urgent” actions that feel required for safety and promise your ego you will come back to them.
Notice where reactive energy is strong and take a deep breath, ask yourself the all-important question “do I NEED to do this NOW?”
2. Set boundaries with yourself
Money is a neutral energy that we imprint all sorts of meaning onto – but under all that, it’s simply energy.
When we earn or receive more money, we are expanding our capacity of what we can hold.
If we receive more than we believe (subconsciously) we are worthy of…we will do all we can to get rid of it.
If we receive more than feels safe…we will do all we can to get rid of it.
If we receive more than we believe is “good”/“right”…we will do all we can to get rid of it.
If believe having money is bad, greedy, corrupts, isn’t spiritual etc… we will do all we can to get rid of it.
My being in flow and opening up to receive more (a fraction of what my Soul was wanting to bring me), triggered a feeling on unsafety. On a subconscious level I didn’t believe it was safe to have what I wanted…so I subconsciously manifest ways to release the money…
To help avoid this you can…
Bring mindfulness and observation into your natural money ‘reactions’ and see if they are serving you. For example if your main financial goal is to enjoy receiving, having, spending more money, feel into what part of you still feels fear around more money.
Expand your awareness around your money patterns by:
Tracking: “you can’t manage what you don’t measure” – so begin to track how you are receiving, spending, saving money.
Track what level you naturally feel comfortable holding - the number that your bank account seems to come back to no matter what you earn (your comfortable minimum level). Track what happens when you go above this and how you feel.
Notice how you feel when you receive money, how you feel when you spend money.
Begin to notice your patterns, and then you can begin to re-wire them.
Declare your new minimum level of money you want to have, earn, save and spend – make sure it’s numbers you can get your energy behind!
Stay mindful of how you want to feel when spending money vs. how you are feeling.
Begin to change the mindset and attitude. Bring in gratitude, bring in joy – begin to release fear, scarcity and lack.
3. Work with sub-personalities (to make aligned, sustainable leaps of growth)
In my experience, the challenge for most of us is not in making the big quantum leaps towards our goals, but in maintaining and sustaining this growth – with consistency, balance and stability.
Because, on a personality level we are made up of so many aspects or ‘sub-personalities’ of ourselves, at varying degrees of integration and maturity. When we are growing rapidly, some parts of us might not have yet ‘got the memo’ that we are moving towards new goals. They may still be committed to the old goals of younger versions of us.
Imagine yourself as being like a whole company – launching a new corporate strategy. It’s important that everyone gets the memo and attends the launch, explaining why these new goals and change in direction are so important for the whole. If not, rogue employees not on board can cause havoc, simply because they are not aligned with the new strategy.
This can happen within you. You might want to, say, be hitting £10k months whilst another younger part of you, might still be trying to keep you safe by staying unseen or close to loved ones by playing small.
Whilst we can build up enough momentum to take a big leap and hit a new level – the challenge is to ensure that we do so with all parts involved, aligned and committed.
If not – we will self-sabotage our success, because some part of ourselves believes this new level is a danger to your wellbeing, in some way.
You can avoid this by…
By doing non-attachment manifestation work (email me to find out more on this).
Think about realising your goal…what possible downsides might come with it? What are the contra-indications? What concerns does having this new goals bring up in you.
Tend to the part of you that believes this – how old are they, what experience led them to believe this? Explain the new plan to this part, bring in healing, integrate this part back into your heart.
4. Deepen your roots (do the shadow work)
When you’ve spent a long period of time in survival mode (hi friends and anyone who’s been working through trauma recovery), it can take a while to feel comfortable with being safe, settled and in overflow.
We don’t trust it...it's a new unknown.
Furthermore, on some level our systems “normal” is a level of turbulence, drama and survival strategies…heck, we can even become addicted to the ups and downs of drama. Abundance, having more than enough feels uncomfortable?
So, after years of this dysfunction, when we finally land something good…the perfect home, great clients, a decent salary…we’re going to face parts of that old modus operandi operating system that says “this won’t last!”
Even though we are safe…we keeps our heckles up.
When we’re doing well…we begin to sabotage.
When we hit jackpot, we say “it won’t happen again.”
This is when we know the ego is still in the driving seat and – more often than not – is using a part of our self still stuck in the shadow (in shame or guilt) to keep us in all sorts of limitation:
Drama cycles like feast and famine
Cut-off from others
Not allowing us to receive more than just enough etc.
You can avoid this by…
Forgiving yourself and bringing in mindfulness.
By practicing being with your feelings.
Holding onto more money than usual - and noticing what comes up.
Spending or investing more money than usual - and noticing what comes up.
5. Forgive yourself when you sabotage (it’s all learning)
Here’s the thing – life isn’t linear. It’s a spiral path. We move round the same cycles at higher and higher levels. You’re going to face your demons and your sabotage patterns more than once, and that’s okay. You came here to learn and to grow, not to be perfect.
Nature moves in ebbs and flows – as do we.
As we expand, we are gifted the opportunity to see the parts of ourselves that contract. This gift allows us to heal, integrate and align to the new version of ourselves.
There is a release of what we no longer need (death) for our new self to be re-birthed.
We get more and more proficient at seeing these contractions, sabotages and ego patterns. And as our awareness grows, so does our ability to respond, rather than react, to our inner movements.
We begin to master ourselves.
We begin to master our energy.
We learn to lead ourselves wherever our Soul is calling us.
But in the process, we will fall down, we will find ourselves making decisions that aren’t always in our highest.
As they say “you win some and you learn some” --- sometimes our learnings are far more valuable than our winnings as they gift us with great wisdom to not make the even bigger bloopers in the future!
So forgive yourself for whatever ways you’ve sabotaged and congratulate yourself for all that you are so wonderfully learning, growing and mastering!!
You’ve got this
I love you X